Aug 092013

A little while back I got an email from a young man who wanted to see me. Nothing too out of the norm there. It was just how very young he was that gave me pause.

As I get older myself seeing anyone under thirty has started to feel more than a bit like Mrs Robinson.

Why yes, I am trying to seduce you.


“Why yes, you silly young thing, of course I’m trying to seduce you.”

But sometimes recognizing how many men, of all ages, have the fantasy of being seduced by the more experienced, confident and worldly older woman makes it seem like a no brainer, especially for someone interested in exploring their submissiveness.

Add to that my own early explorations with men who were much older than me, a fetish that continues to this day, and a certain quid pro quo comes into play as well.

But even my capacity to porn up a situation and/or play into some karmic “pay it forward”ness felt a bit stretched when considering whether or not I should see this notably young man.

So very glad I overcame my own agist tendencies and trusted in his ability to know what he was getting himself into…in so much as any of my playmates ever truly understands the lasting effects of a fantasy becoming reality experience.

Here are some very sweet words from a very sweet boy regarding a memorable moment for us both:

“After I processed our appointment, I wrote this as a journal entry:

I went to a professional dominatrix.

Even saying that seems odd to me. I don’t know that many people in the community. In fact, in practice, I am completely new. I worry, does that reflect poorly on me? That I went and paid someone to do something I should have done the work to build with someone else? I worry that maybe I may seem a pretender to veterans of the community, someone who took a shortcut. But I don’t want to lie. I did it, and it was an overwhelmingly positive experience.

I think it may have been something I needed. Before Sunday, I did not think I was handsome. I did not think I was a catch. I let my insecurity trap me in a relationship that was not good for me before, something I should have felt was less than I deserved. I feel confident. I have something to offer. I am a good guy, I really am, and I shouldn’t have to parse and cower and bend myself to be someones ideal partner when I am ideal for myself already. I always read about being who you are in a relationship, but I don’t think I knew what it meant before.

Never before have I met someone so wise. I have always considered myself smart and a bit worldly, but I had nothing on her. She understood people inside and out, and saw right through my intellectual bluster to see how truly young I really am. And she was protective. She talked at great length about the community I am now a part of, and of my worth in it. She talked of safety, both physical and emotional. She talked of communication. She talked of the bravery it takes to find someone else to play with.

And the scene, something I had never experienced with another person right there, was beyond incredible. My submissiveness was so very confirmed. It is a part of me, and it felt so right. And I am GOOD at it. I have self control, I have an open mind, I have discipline and I have endless amounts of affection to give. She showed me that I need to place value in my submission, and that it is the dominant who should prove that they are worthy of it.

And even then it was educational. She helped me understand my body, and how it reacts, how things feel. In the vast sea of kinkiness, I now have a flag I can plant, giving me my bearings. I have a better understanding of what I really need in a scene, and what I could actually go without.

Because that was what she was to me, a teacher and a guardian. She was no fake. She was authentic and experienced and definitely a proud member of the community. I think she wanted to help me avoid the awful mistakes many new members make, help me find my happiness.

So yes, maybe I did cheat a little and cut ahead. I learned the power of consent. I learned the bravery of submission. I learned my value. I feel more ready for the world than I ever have, so judge not. I am ready to play.


You gave me confidence I didn’t know I had, and showed me my value. Thank you so much. You are an incredible woman.”


I may have started off this encounter feeling like a chicken hawk. But after receiving this lovely email I felt as warm and fluffy as…

WArm and fluffy

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Sep 182012

Today held a couple of lovely examples of why I do what I do. It’s difficult not to think of the two individuals involved as some how connected, though complete strangers who will likely never meet. And even if they somehow, in a typical small world way, were to meet, it is equally unlikely that either of them would be able to recognize the traits that connect them. The sheer number of interactions, not all brief or shallow, these two people could share and never see their sameness.

But we are, after all, a society that does not make it easy to be out and unapologetic about being a kinky little slut.

Oh, and in case your mind just tried to jump to any number of scantily clad rockstars to contradict that last statement…if you think they don’t have to walk barefoot across broken glass on a regular bases to manifest un-wavering fabulous, 24/7 you’re kidding yourself.

But people do it.

And that’s why I do what I do. Average everyday people take the risk of making themselves a target by being out, by being unapologetic…by being brave. And it starts with a simple thought.

I have a right to be happy.

So there’s a new playmate who’s been trying to book with me for awhile. Granted, sometimes the planets take awhile to align. Otherwise known as the scheduling dance. But that’s not really whats going on here. To his credit, he’s at least been honest.

He’s a little scared.

I’m always so torn by that. Part of me recognizes that – Jesus I bet! This can be quite the step into the abyss. Conversely, I know me, and I am NOT that scary. This isn’t skydiving…you are unlikely to die from seeing a Pro Domme.

Despite the latter and in keeping with the former…I’ve seen people so nervous they’re shaking when they arrive, so scared they can’t make eye contact. I’ve seen people so stressed out that the moment that it sinks in, they are safe here, they start crying.

But in the face of their fear, they still showed up. Which is awesome! Human beings can be almost impressive in our ability to self sabotage, to keep ourselves from what we know, deep down, will make us happy. One very effective way of doing that is to alienate the very same sexy dominant that you’ve been fantasizing about seeing for years by NOT showing up for your appointment. If folks show up and try to put up barriers between themselves and their happiness, THAT, I can do something about. But without that first step, that first risk, that first appointment…nothing I can do to help.

So I hope this new playmate shows up. I know he’ll be happy if he does.

I know this for a number of reasons but also because of the playmate I saw today. A sweet, gentle, man who was actually brave enough to tell his partner that he was kinky before they got married. And she was cool with it. Then at some point a few years in, his kinkyness was no longer okay. Not okay for her, so not okay period. And in the classic boiling a frog metaphor of most abusive relationships, things went from bad to worse over a period of many years. Years of his self-medicating with solo-play in the face of open hostility and verbal abuse.

Until recently.

When he remembered he had a right to be happy. A partner who vilifies your sexuality is never going to let you be happy. I am not the reason he is taken the monumental step of leaving an abusive relationship. I merely helped him to see himself as he was meant to be. And he remembered.

This is the risk people take when they come to see me. But I’m not what people are actually scared of. What they are scared of is being happy…while being kinky. When its no longer a question of “Am I really?” and is inescapably “I really am.”. The cost of that knowledge is either change or denial. Change your life and chase your bliss. Or deny the knowledge of where your bliss lies, repress it, distort it, or feed it just enough to keep it quiet…until it needs to be fed again.

So actually, change wins out in any event. And that’s the risk you take. You will not walk out as the same person you were when you walked in. And that’s true whether its your first experience or your fiftieth.

But take that risk anyway

because its worth it

because you

have a right

to be happy.


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Sep 172012

After months of serious procrastination I FINALLY got around to doing my website house cleaning. There wasn’t much major work that need to be done, some grammatical issues, one or two spelling errors, a few dead links. I did need to add the lovely Miss Audrey to my site as a potential playmate for duos. So all told, coding learning curve aside, I should have been done in an hour. Alas, WHY I put off such tasks is that things never seem to work out that way.

I didn’t even hit any problems this time, like when my entire site crashed in the midst of a simple cut and paste edit. Luckily my site designer and coding genius was on hand to spot and fix the problem. Apparently you aren’t supposed to capitalize letters in html. Good to know.

No the problem is much more insidious. Any writer knows the danger of picking up an old piece of work…you can’t not start to tweak it and before you know it, its four in the morning. But…it’s DONE…for now. And having gotten on a creative kick with all that re-writting I’ve returned to my poor, much neglected, blog. Doesn’t hurt that one of the fixes was linking to my blogs shiny new home (kiss my butt, Livejournal!).

So in the interest of new stuff here’s a couple bits of random. First up a letter:


You, madam, are fabulous 🙂 I absolutely love the work you’ve put into your website, the humor you’ve injected, the intelligence that winds its way through every paragraph. Well done!

I’m just getting into the pro domme scene and have a question for you, if you’ve the time. Your FAQ page states”I am not a trained therapist or a licensed counselor(yet)” (sic) – should I take that to mean you’re studying psychology? If so, could you refer me to a good book (or many)? I’m looking to learn more about sexual psychology but also just general stuff. Brains are fabulously fascinating 🙂 I’ve also found that near every one of my subs, past and present, uses our process (either directly or indirectly) as a way to sort through brain-noise and have fabulous life transformations. That in mind, I’ll be going at this from a life-coaching perspective, so I want to be fully prepared for anything that comes my way. Time to study!”

And my reply:
“Thanks for the interest and admiration. The “not yet” comment refers to my plan to go back to school to get a counseling degree and my optimistic hope that one day the therapeutic benefits of my current profession will be recognized by the larger medical establishment.

So a lot of my training is from on-the-job work, years of industry experience can’t help but show you patterns of behavior with regard to the motivations, triggers and fears that most clients have around kink, interpersonal relationships and their bodies. But a surprising amount of it comes from my BA in theater which I self-deprecatiingly refer to as “a psyche degree for narcissists”.

As far as reading lists, everything that deals with kink/sex, even if its bad (like 50 Shades of Grey), even if its just supposed to turn you on (like erotica/porn), can give you insight into how people come to and process what does, and doesn’t, get them hot. Both fiction and non-fiction have things to offer.But here are some books that I’ve found extremely useful over the years:

Real Live Nude Girl and The Leather Daddy and the Femme both by Carol Queen
Pretty much anything by Susie Bright
>Meeting the Master by Elissa Wald
Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan, Ph.D and Cacilda Jethá, MD
Bonk by Mary Roach
When Someone You Love is Kinky by Dossie EAston and Catherine A. Liszt
Most things by Carl Jung (a million times more holistic minded than Freud at addressing sexual motivations, IMO) and Joseph Campbell, especially The Hero with a Thousands Faces (great stuff on ritual, patterns and paths). And an at least general understanding of most major religions because wether someone is a recovering catholic or a practicing Hindu, religion has an effect on the vast majority of people’s feelings about sex.

Lastly, read stuff by other sex workers, blogs, books, essays, articles it all can offer insight.

Lastly, if you aren’t active in the kink community…become so. Getting to know a wide sampling of folks who are at least okay enough with their kink to attend public events isn’t just a useful tool when interacting with clients who have yet to (or aren’t able to) do so, it will also be necessary so you can give them real world examples of what is out there for them if they were to pursue a more holistic, open lifestyle with regard to their sexuality.

Hope this helps”

And I like to end with a joke…and this time I’ll use someone else’s…this is a great on-line comic but its rarely safe for work. This particular strip does not include boobs.

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May 282012

Okay..just got here and still doinking around with how things look. Next big step is moving all my old content from Livejournal. Please bear with me…

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Nov 092011

“Dear Mistress Katherine,

I saw your internet page and I was wondeirng whether you might be able to help me expand my experiences with ballbusting. I will be in Seattle again soon.

I have seen a couple of Mistresses in before for ballkicking and ballbusting sessions. All have been good but none have pushed me to the limits which I want to experience.

Would you be interested and able to kick me in the balls hard?

Wondering would you by chance have any type of matrial arts expereience?

Have you done any straight ballkicking sessions? I have been kicked medium hard but as I mentioned above, I am looking to get kicked harder. Are you able and interested in doing that?

If you do have this type of experience, what kind of after effects should I expect? I have had mild swelling before and once a little bit of bruising but prefer to avoid any marks if possible.

I only like to get kicked barefoot or by stockinged feet? Is that okay?

Please let me know your thoughts on the above questions and whether you might be interested in sessioning with me when I am in Seattle.

Thank you,

Hello again D.

I’m forwarding on both your email from last May as well as my response, also from May. Since the email that you sent me today is exactly the same as the one you sent then, there didn’t seem to be any need to compose something new on my end either.

FYI, there are some kinks, while legitimate and yes, extreme, that have the misfortune of being a common topic for individuals to email ladies like myself regarding when they have absolutely no interest in actually booking s session. These pathetic and cowardly individuals seem to enjoy wasting the time of ladies like myself by trying to rope us into extended email exchanges about their claimed kink.

I am sure that you would hate to be lumped in with such small dicked wankers and that your interest is, of course, completely sincere.

Today is a very good day to reach me by phone to schedule your appointment. I look forward to your call.

M Katherine

Had a very fun second date with a lovely young lady last night and one of the many…many…things we found to fill our 8 hour conversation(gods but I love that about women) was the charming combination of snarkiness and sadism which seems to be a common trait among ladies in my profession. She was lamenting the fact that she feels she is “too nice” for such caustic replies that appear to be a necessary skill to ply trades like mine. My feelings on that are:

A: There are certainly worse things then dating an adorable woman who doesn’t default to sarcasm(but appears to find it sexy in others).

B: A combination of “You’d be surprised…” and “Give it time…”

8 years of time wasting emails and inappropriate phone calls would have even Mother Teresa giving in to her inner Dorothy Parker on the odd asshat. At the start, sure, you’re inclined to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Like I did with this guy, the first time he contacted me. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, even though his email reeked of a form letter, phishing expedition. But the longer you stay in the industry, the easier it is to spot bullshit from sincere, if sometimes awkward, inquiry. It certainly doesn’t hurt that the worst offenders are often repeat offenders. Which is why I maintain an extra special little file of folly for fellas like this. If you should ever find yourself in said file, its unlikely you’ll ever find yourself playing out your fantasies with me.

Luckily, most men are NOT time wasting wankers and that’s what keeps us Ladies sane. Case in point, when I opened my mail this morning there was a polite, completely appropriate and clearly sincere session inquiry from a potential new client as well as a very sweet Howdy from a former playmate touching base. Both, strangely enough(or not, sometimes these things travel in threes) both enjoy genital torture. The latter gent, is quite fond of intense ballbusting and I’d recently commented on some nice things he’d had to say about our previous play time on one of our local provider review boards. Hope to see him again soon. Cause as much as I enjoy pitching a good snarky speedball, I prefer batting practice.

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Oct 212011

Hello from MIA land. Been, clearly, forever since I last posted. Hoping to change that trend in the not to distant future. Part of my plan to re-energize my poor neglected blog is to move it to either Blogger or WordPress before the holidays. I miss blogging, but am more then frustrated with LJ these days and have admittedly become hopelessly hooked on FB.

For now here’s a bit of snarky for your Friday. This letter was likely in response to my post on one of our local provider review boards about prostate massage/play. In it I had made the offer to be a resource for folks who had questions/concerns about anal play as its an activity I love and have much experience with. The offer, which should have been clear to anyone but the criminally naive, was meant for MEN who are considering exploring this part of their sexuality. It was not meant as an offer to train my competition…

“Mistress Katherine:

I’m a Bondassage provider. I’m fairly new to the sensual domme world and looking for some direction with strap on play. I’ve done it a few times and I’m super clumsy! Do you offer lessons or something like that? If not, could you recommend someone who does?
Thank you.”

My reply:

Well, since you asked for my advice here it is…don’t offer something at the professional level until you can actually do it professionally. The last thing a man needs, after working up the courage to finally explore anal play, is a provider who doesn’t know what she’s doing. I’ve done more then my fair share of damage control and apologizing for other provider’s ineptitude in this area. And for every boy I bring back around to the idea of butt play after a bad experience there’s probably 5 guys who’ll never give it another go.

Just because our industry isn’t regulated doesn’t mean that we can’t aspire to certain professional standards.

Toys in Babeland regularly has workshops for strap-on play as well as other 101 topics. There’s also numerous books and videos on the topic. Once you’ve got some training and done your research, find a non-professional partner or two that you can experiment with for a number of months. Once you have a better grasp of the technique as well as, hopefully, a personal sexual interest in it THEN add it to your professional offerings.

Until then, please do your clients, the industry and yourself a favor and don’t ask others to pay for your learning curve.

M Katherine

I find the whole Bondassage phenomena both ridiculous and annoying. From what I have seen, its mostly another in a long line of marketing concepts from other types of sex workers trying to make more money and expand their client base by adding some BDSM to their menu. The only problem with this is that most of the ladies who do this aren’t actually kinky. I have HUGE issues with this. It isn’t just about being competent at what ever activity it is someone is PAYING you to do with them or that they have a right to a general trust that you know enough about what you are doing to not damage them and/or leave them with marks they can’t afford to have. Even more insidious is the lack of empathy, understanding and genuine shared interest that directly mirrors what so many clients are already facing at home. I’ve heard horror stories, kids.

Luckily I do know a number of providers who don’t advertise as professional dominants but are, none the less, seriously kinky little monkeys in their personal lives and they were so WAY before they offered such options professionally. They’d never send me an email like this…they wouldn’t need to. One of the bonuses to being pervy is you know how to find all those workshops, classes and resources. They were what you sought out when you started exploring your OWN sexuality and now its often you or your friends teaching them. Which means you don’t have to resort to cold calling your often caustic competition…

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Feb 152011

Breaking the silence and balancing out the previous post with this lovely letter from a recent playmate.

“Hi, Katherine,

I want to say thanks very much for the exciting and fun session you created last Monday evening.

I loved everything about it! Being trussed up, exposed and helpless was extremely exciting. But of course, that was just the final denouement. You really reached out to, and found, and grasped, my inner woman (or should I say my inner cock-crazed, wanton slut?) to bring me to that fever pitch of desire.

I would love to know any specifics you might recall about how you did my makeup. You achieved much better results in what seemed like ten minutes than I can do in half an hour.

I’ve looked up “Bend Over Boyfriend” and I think I need to order that one!

You were going to give me a link to the online source for your corset – I would love to have it. The site that I mentioned that has some lovely items is I particularly like this dress – with this I could wear an under-bust corset…:

…do you think I would look pretty in that?

Thank you again. I hope we can stay in touch from time to time.


Hello Babette.

Thanks for the link. Very cool site with lots of gothy goodness. But I think that dress is a bit too innocent for the cock-hungry slut you proved yourself to be. 😉

Here’s the link to the eBay seller I mentioned. But again, I was less then pleased with their shipping times, though it looks like the item went out in a timely fashion. They may just be going extra cheap on the shipping method. Still, prices can’t be beat:

As to make-up, its really just the result of years of practice. I’ve been applying cosmetics to myself and others since I was a wee little lass of 14. Though taking the extra time to get things just right, and feel your sexiest, is always worth it. If you ever wanna go hard core with it I strongly recommend the book Making Faces by Kevyn Aucoin. Lots of fabulous pictures and great techniques. He even has a few stunning boy to girl transformations.

Another good book given your interests is Miss Vera’s Finishing School for Boys who want to be Girls by Veronica Vera. And for a fun sexy read check out Crossdressing, erotic stories by Rachel Kramer Bussel.

M Katherine

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Dec 072010

“Dear Mistress

i had e-mailed you along time ago and you said that if i had questions i could ask i’m not sure if that is still ok. i was wondering what this feminization process is.what one has to do is it like wearing a corset,dressing up as a woman,strap-on,i’m confused on what i read on the internet.

Thank You for your time”

My very restrained, polite and proper reply:

I know that the internet can be confusing in what it has to say about kink but for legal reasons, as well as professional preference, I don’t choose to discuss activities outside of appointments. But I have had some things to say about this activity during a recent podcast which you can find here:

I start talking about feminization at around the 13min mark.

If you’re still feeling very nervous I do offer Just Talk sessions(info can be found on the FAQ page of my website) if you’d like to discuss your interests without the pressure of turning word into action same day.

M Katherine

The internet and is breadth(though often strangely one-sided focus) with regard to kinky activities can be very confusing to someone searching it for answers for the very first time. I do think that most folks who’ve invested at least a couple of hours should have a bit more of a grasp of what an activity like feminization is about then this writer has demonstrated. But he did mention his age, which I’ve redacted for privacy, and lets just say its of a generation not generally known for its web surfing skills.

Of course he did mention that he’s emailed me before. AND this email has more then a slight smell of a fishing expedition, where by a time wasting wanker will try and get a lady such as myself to invest much time and energy spelling out in detail, for their future(or current if its done over the phone) masturbatory pleasure, all the wonderful kinky things I would/could do to them..but never will because THEY ARE JUST A TIME WASTING WANKER with no intention of ever actually seeing me.

Credit it to the holiday spirit but I decided erring on the side of optimism and generosity was the lesser evil in this case. He gets the basic, consistent party line. There’s plenty of free wank worthy material on my website as it stands. And if he’d like something more personally tailored, but isn’t quite ready to strap on a pair and fully put himself in my clutches he’s welcome to book a chat.

Bonus stocking stuffer was the podcast link which I’ve now finally gotten around to posting here for anyone who might be stalking this blog but is still Facebook phobic.

There are two parts to the insanely fun and fabulous podcast that I did with the amazing and sexy Dr Dick(greatest sex educator name EVAR), below is the first part. We chat about my upbringing, why I like kink so much, a few of the kinky things that I like to do with people, I ramble on a bit about my spirituality and how trees turn me on, I get more then a bit ornery defending the often libeled rights and general awesomeness of my clients and at one point I even have an unexpectedly intimate moment with his dog. They’re both worth a listen, but of course I would think that wouldn’t I…

And while you’re there check out the rest of his site! It’s especially nice for boys who like boys(or think they might) as well as us girls who find all that boy on boy sexuality intriguing, but very much a great resource for anyone who likes sex.

Speaking of holiday cheer, I’ll dropping by The Cuff again this Friday, this time to get my picture taken with Santa at the Seattle Men in Leather fundraiser.

Also got a jam packed Sunday which includes some quality hang time at the always entertaining Fem Domme Tea at the CSPC:

Followed by putting in a supportive appearance at the lovely Princess Andie’s Gallery show and fundraiser. Love her stuff SOOOO much – this is one of my favs(that would make a great Xmas gift *hint*hint*hint*)

Then home for a power nap and some hard core primping before strutting my stuff at Strict Machine’s one year anniversary.

Fight the Seattle seasonal urge to hibernate and come join in the fun!

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Dec 032010

Some folks whose opinions I value greatly have been pressing me to go back to school. I’m not sure if a letter like this is an encouragement or a deterrent towards said goal:


I am a Sociology graduate student at Big Institution that Costs A Lot Of Money. I’m currently working on my thesis paper on Alternative Sexuality and am hoping that you might allow me to interview you and fill out an anonymous survey. Additionally, if you and one of your clients feel comfortable, I would value the opportunity to observe a session. My presence and, any information gained, would be strictly confidntial, of course.

My thesis looks at non-mainstream forms of sexuality, specifically BD/SM and fetishes. I reject the norm of classifying these activities as “devious”, and instead would like to investgate their prevelance in society. I would love to talk with you, a professinal Dominatrix, about the range of your clientle, the activities they’re involved in and societal response to your profession. My goal is to open the dialogue about alternative sexuality and question it’s “devious” classification.

Any information that you share with me will be strictly anonymous. It would help me greatly and I hope that you’ll consider it. My schedule is fairly free in the afternoons next week.

Thank you so much. I look forward to hearing from you.

Clueless Co-ed
Department of Should Be Teaching Their Students Better
Big Institution that Costs A Lot of Money

Putting on my glasses and sweater set, I reply:

Hello Casey.

First up, I’m pretty sure the word you are looking for is deviant, not devious. And it doesn’t need to be in quotes given the nature of your email and your stated side on the issue. Also its BDSM, which stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. The last is a rookie mistake since the proper definition for the acronym can even be found on Wikipedia. I would hope that you’ve at least made a dent in the considerable collection of published works on this topic before moving on to interviews. Not taking that step, not even knowing the basics of our language, is as disrespectful as traveling to a foreign country without even bothering to learn hello or thank you.

Secondly, most people pursue a field of study they either have a vested personal interest in, or issues with. If your mission is just to help us poor misunderstood kinksters…your energies might be better served pursuing a field of study you already know something about. There are many individuals, like myself, who are on the front lines of the Sex Positive Movement, and while we can always use more foot soldiers, no one likes to feel like they’re being used purely as a science experiment.

Lastly, I would no sooner invite you, an unknown grad student, into one of my sessions then any other therapist would be inclined to invite you into one of their sessions. Client confidentially holds just as true for my profession as any of the other healing arts. Which leads to the larger question of why you have contacted a professional dominant instead of contacting a member of our local kink community not advertising thier services on the internet. For a city that can boast the Center For Sex Positive Culture, The Foundation for Sex Positive Culture, numerous open to the public munches and workshops every week, and local networking sites with groups and event listings based on region…why contact someone who has already advertised that she puts a monetary value on her time when there are numerous other options and individuals for whom outreach and education is a key focus?

The kink community is very protective of itself, and it has every right to be so given the judgments that some of society still cast upon it…but that is nothing compared to the level of closure you will find from sex workers. The kink community, again, does have outreach in place for individuals such as yourself as well as for folks whose interest is not academic but of a personal nature. The organizations I mentioned in the previous paragraph should get you started. But I strongly advise you to look for your information outside of the sex industry. Until this nation’s laws reflect its desires, recognize that the women and men who do this work have much more to lose by talking to individuals such as yourself. And, no, a promise of anonymity is not an assurance of safety coming from an unknown grad student looking for one on one interviews.

Since you’ve contacted me under the heading of academic inquiry I hope you’ll view the nature and content of my response as an educational experience.

M Katherine

So, the last letter I posted got some wonderful comments on Facebook(since I linked to it) but the overriding theme seemed to be that I wasn’t as mean as I could/should have been. Well, for starters on that last one, that would have been giving said jack-ass free thrills. Secondly, bitchiness is like salt…you can always add more but you can’t take it away once you’ve added it. No need to foster a rep as an unrepentant cunt. I prefer to save that for role-play among special friends. It’s also called feeding the trolls.

But thanks for commenting all the same gang. Always love knowing I’ve added a bit of humor to your day.

I point this out since some of you might have the same thoughts on this one. Yes, there were a few more grammar/spelling issues I didn’t call them on. And opening the letter with Mistress(should I have responded by calling them slave?) and the general feeling of a form letter ads a bit more insult to an already heady brew of disrespect, clueless and entitlement. And though it probably isn’t the case, I did have the thought that this could just be an overly elaborate ruse by some would-be pro domme to learn/see how its done. Or as I loosely alluded to in my reply…they could be law enforcement.

But even though I get emails like this fairly often, I still choose to believe that most folks aren’t willfully stupid…just a bit empathy deficient. Sure, if they’d done their research more thoroughly before contacting me, their approach might not have been so epic fail. But that they clearly didn’t take the two second step of thinking how their email might be received by someone like myself, is what won them a stern lecture instead of the educational opportunity they’d hoped for.

And if you don’t tell them what they’ve done wrong, in a way that they can hear, they’ll never learn.

But honestly, when I play teacher, I prefer to do so in the playroom. So, who forgot to do their homework AND got caught masturbating in the library? Go ahead and bend over the desk while I oil up my cane…

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Nov 212010

Haven’t posted in forever so I thought I’d offer up a bit of snarky humor in amends.

So..take it away Mr Ed(name and a few potential identifiers changed to protect the clueless)…

“I’m into 4 legged ponyplay, piggyback rides, and many other things. I didn’t see these things on the site, are you flexible on this?

I would like to make a video of a session with you and sell it would that be OK with you? I want full ownership and rights to it. If you don’t want to be identified in a video I’d be OK with you covering your face. Mine will certainly be covered. I can be flexible about payment and if I actually make any money I’ll definitely sign up for many more sessions and maybe pay extra per session depending on how much I make.

I’m *height on the shorter side* and weigh *less then a lot of girls*. I haven’t played pony since I was *pre-pubescent*, but I found it oddly erotic even back then.

If this doesn’t appeal to you would you please tell my why and could you recommend someone I can go to near Seattle? I’ll carry male or female riders as long as they’re physically fit, but I don’t like fat people. Also, do you know any male or female subs who’d like to do videos like I described?

What are your rates? Sorry if I missed it on the website.”

My, not nearly as snarky as it could be, reply…

Well Mr Ed, since you asked why I’m not jumping at the bit to take you up on your sweet deal…here ya go…

If you want to shoot porn, fine. Advertise your interest in doing so, check the going industry rates and offer them, be honest about your complete lack of experience and unwillingness to share the spoils and fully expect that if you point out that you’ll be the co-star in this little production you won’t get a lot of nibbles. Maybe if you didn’t have such insensitivity and issues with “fat people”…

If you want to see a Pro Domme to consensually explore your kink and perhaps get some real time actual EXPERIENCE, read their website FULLY and then contact one. But don’t expect any more photographic memories then what you can hold in your pervy little brain, especially since you have no intention of saving hard copy images for your own “personal, private use”.

I’m not a porn star…so I don’t advertise myself as one. Nor am I a pimp, procurer or talent agent so I won’t be giving you the names of any available(and stupid) dominants or submissives who’d be interested in getting scammed by a complete stranger. I won’t even suggest places where you could connect with, and possibly be educated by, members of the local kink community…since you’re motivation is so clearly financial first.

There’s nothing wrong with your kink…but that you see nothing different between a bargain basement porn star and a Pro Domme isn’t going to win you many playmates personal or professional.

M Katherine

Worth pointing out that I was just having a conversation last night that, among many other wonderful kinky things, involved an expressed interest in pony play. AND I have an acquaintance who I just found out makes soft core animal play porn and I was mildly intrigued.

But Mr. Ed here doesn’t know me, couldn’t even be bothered to read my website well enough to see what my “rates” are…or to read that I NEVER discuss such things. And the whole thing has the air of a mass fishing email since there are no personal identifiers like my name, why he’s contacting me in particular, or anything about me, really.

And there in lies the difference between playing pony…and just being a horse’s ass.

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