Just got back late last night from an amazing four days and three nights in my sister city to the south, Portland. Strip clubs, chicken satay, and much sexy shenanigans with pretty people in shiny clothing. It was fabulous and full of great stroke worthy stories but I’ve got a not so little something to blog about first.
Most of us Washingtonians have recently received our ballots for the November 3rd election in the mail.
As anyone who knows me, or even just follows my blog is aware, I have strong opinions when it comes to politics. I’m a local northwest girl and do actually give a shit about the state that has been my home for over thirty years. And like most long term relationships my feelings have often been torn. There has been disappointment as well as moments of intense pride.
I’m writing today in the hopes that I can experience a bounty of the later emotion and little of the former. Though this ballot will decide many things, things I care dearly about, there is one specific issue that hits closer to home then the others.
This is my girlfriend:
She is one of many people I know for whom love of their own gender has extended to the bedroom, and beyond, but certainly has exceeded the limits of just friendship. I love my girlfriend very much as she does me.
Now I’m the first to say that, in the past, marriage hasn’t held much interest for me. Spending great big gobs of money to walk down the aisle dressed like a merringue in an unflattering(and unrealistic) color sounds a lot like some elaborate punishment plot and is not something I’m been dreaming of since I was a little girl. I was too busy creating rape and bondage scenes for my barbie dolls.
But for the first time in my life I find myself questioning whether I’m not thinking about marriage because it isn’t what I want…
or whether I’m not thinking about it because, as the law stands, I can’t have it if I were to want it.
Approving Referendum 71, while not sanctioning the word “marriage” does tell me the my fellow Washington residents, the folks who worked with my dad and now my brother at Boeing, the ladies my mom used to sell tupperware to, the parents of(and now probably the kids) I used to babysit for, the teachers who educated me K through college and the kids who shared those classes with me, the mechanic who fixes my car, the checker at my local grocery store, the person who stops so I can cross the street, my neighbors, my friends, my family believe that my love for this amazing young woman is just as valid as the love they have for others in their lives. And if I were to come before them and say “This is the person I choose to share my life with” more then a friend, more then a lover, a partner, they could see and honor the value of that union not just to the two of us but to our community.
By making demons of what we view as “other” we only make devils of ourselves. It is that hatred and fear that will create the hell on earth that opponents of Ref 71 threaten us with. Love should not be legislated against. It should be rewarded and encouraged. And every time we the people step up and confront hate, fear and the small-minded, short sighted-ness that would make us blind to the humanity in those around us we are one step closer to being the kind of world where happiness really is our default position.
And heres the deal. If you’re reading this blog, you’re probably kinky. It’s okay, I clearly like kinky people. Kinky kicks ass! But the same folks throwing money at rejecting Ref 71 would absolutely love to pass some laws saying the way you like to experience love and pleasure should be illegal. Don’t believe me? Check into some of the haters rhetoric about the dangers of homosexuals. Boy do they love to talk about sodomy, a consensual sex act that used to be illegal here in Washington. If you are a male and like strap-on sex you are just as much a target for these people as me and my girlfriend. They just haven’t come for you yet.
Expanding civil liberties to protect the minority also benefits the majority by contributing to a more open, accepting, and empathetic society. You do not have to be gay, or have gay friends or a gay aunt or uncle or grandma to have a good reason to approve Referendum 71. If you understand that love takes many forms and you want to live in a world where people and their adult choices are honored, you have your reason.
Besides, when we aren’t so busy working for our basic civil rights we’ll have more time to stand and fight right next to you if they try to come for your butt plugs.
Make an appointment with me before November 3rd, bring your ballot with Approve Ref 71 checked and expect me to be extra generous with my time.
And lastly, I’m more then happy to debate this with any of my pals on here but if I find out you didn’t even vote…you may need to remind me why I call you a friend at all.