Feb 262009
 

The WERK Lounge that is…

Planning on attending this sexy and mellow night at the Center tomorrow. I caught the last one and really enjoyed the way they set up the space and the over-all laid back ambience of the event. There was still plenty of play going on, though unlike every other play night at the CSPC, the social is given priority over the play. But instead of being rowdier for all the conversation its was actually quieter. The attendance is less(or at least it was last time) then the Saturday Pan-sexual play parties or the Grind, the big dance night on Thursday. And that’s just fine by me. I think the set up, curtaining off a number of smaller more private play areas, helps reduce the noise factor considerably.

I’m also not much interested in big, showy, performance based play so I enjoyed the intimate vibe of the scenes I saw last time. I’m more inclined to play myself….which is something I plan to do tomorrow. I’ve been invited to give a bit of a domme-ing tutorial to a very cute couple in their twenties.

Since I’ve been more active at the Center lately I’ve been meeting a lot of new people. I find it amusing that equal only to the amount of male “hey, hot stuff” energy directed my way has been women, young and old, interested in, well, learning from me. Specifically in how to get in touch with their Domme side.

???

I credit this to my being approachable just as much to my appearing to know what I’m doing. But I have mixed feeling about being cast in this type of role, since I feel that in the vast majority of cases, its simply a matter of affirming what others already know to be true about themselves.

For example the Tuesday after V-day my pal Hotsauce had asked me to cover spanking and paddling for the two hour tasting portion of the youth group meeting(18-35 set). Of course I was happy to help out, and honored the request by bringing a full arsenal of percussive toys, printing up some informative and funny hand-outs outlining where to hit, and only JOKING about using my position to molest hot 20 somethings while they were in vunerable positions. I had a good time, meet yet more fun folks, hopefully helped some people be better at smacking each other around and/or recognizing how much they like being spanked.

But showing someone how to DO something is different then instructing someone in how to BE something, though admittedly there is a bit of cross-over. I can show someone how to spank their partner in way that doesn’t leave marks and insures they both have a good time no matter how many times the blows fall. But trying to teach a woman how to be more dominant? It’s not that I ascribe to the school of thought that you either have it or you don’t. I believe we all have the potential inside of us, its simply a matter of testing it out and seeing how much using that muscle feels good to you. For some its a role that may never feel natural or enjoyable, but in a controlled and consensual setting, its not something that should ever be ruled out.

And just as submissiveness in the bedroom can help folks work on being comfortable with emotional vulnerability and trust outside of it too, being dominant in the bedroom can help folks be more confident in their day-to-day. I’d certainly enjoy seeing more women be better at everything from taking a freakin compliment to standing up for themselves when they get passed over for a promotion to being willing to fight for the type of love they deserve….

So maybe I need to be better at acknowledging that I do have something to offer these women…even its just a mirror that lets them see how bad-ass they really are.

How else are we going to take over the world after all?

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